When you ask for a pay rise your boss may agree to everything you’re asking for, or to most of it, or to a small percentage, or to none at all. But when it comes to promotion, either you get the job or you don’t. Occasionally your employer might create a new intermediate post for you, but generally a no is precisely that. No.

So what do you do? You have the option of leaving, of course, and you might decide to do that if you feel you want to move up the ladder and there’s not likely to be another opportunity here for a while. But most people who miss out on promotion still choose to stay in the organization. Assuming you want to stay -at least for the moment – how do you handle being turned down? There are two important steps you can take to make sure that you still benefit from the situation, even though you haven’t got the job you wanted:

• Ask why you weren’t appointed to the job.
• Ask for a pay rise.

Why didn’t you get the job?
Fix up a meeting with your boss, following all the guidelines for asking for a pay rise: preparing your case, and setting up a good half hour to an hour in private with them. Begin by asking for the reasons why you missed out on the promotion. You felt you were a strong candidate, and you’d like to know what your boss considered were your weak points so that you can work on them. That way, you’ll stand a better chance next time.

If your boss tries to flannel you, and tell you you’re wonderful but the successful candidate was even better, explain that this isn’t very helpful: ‘I really want to know where I was weak, or where they were stronger than me, so that I can improve my chances next time there’s a possibility of promotion. I appreciate that you don’t want to hurt my feelings, but you’ll be doing me a favor if you give me feedback that helps me in future.’

Get your boss to be as specific as possible about any areas where you may have failed to make the grade:
• qualifications
• skills
• experience
• interpersonal skills.

Make a written note so you can’t forget what they’ve said, and then make it your mission to work on all these areas ready for the next promotion opportunity. There’s no point arguing with your boss about their opinions of you. For one thing, the decision is made now. And for another, if they perceive that you are weak, that’s what counts: they make the decisions on promotion. It doesn’t matter what you think.

If your boss has, say, three reasons for not promoting you yet and you argue defensively and vociferously with the first one, they may decide not to bother to mention the others and thus save themselves an unpleasant row. Few people enjoy criticizing others, so make it easy for them. Otherwise you may never find out all the things you need to know to improve your chances next time.

Swallow Your Pride
Whatever happens, make sure you are pleasant and co-operative with the person who gets the job you wanted, even if you now have to work directly under them. They may be a previous colleague or someone from outside the organization. Either way, by taking the job, they only did what you would have done yourself in their position. No matter how strongly you believe they are the wrong person for the job, if you behave badly towards them in any way, you will be seen as petty and mean-spirited. This image will do nothing for your chances of promotion, salary increase or anything else in the future. Be magnanimous, however, and you’ll score big brownie points.

Ask for a pay rise
You’ve just gone through the whole process of demonstrating your value in order to earn the promotion. You may have missed out there, but you’ve almost certainly shown that you are at least some way better than the job you’re doing. So capitalize on this opportunity to get your salary increased, according to all the principles we’ve already covered.

And let’s not forget that you have the psychological advantage here. I’m not suggesting you ask for a rise you don’t deserve, but there’s no denying that this is good timing. Your boss has already turned you down for promotion. They’re going to feel dreadful if they don’t even give you a pay rise in compensation. Of course, they may be prepared to feel dreadful. But if you’ve got a strong case for a rise, it would take a pretty hard-headed boss to refuse you just now.

No chance?
And what if there’s no chance for promotion? Maybe you work for a small company, or in a ‘flat’ organization. Or perhaps it’s just that no one above you shows any sign of leaving, so the opportunity doesn’t arise. If this happens, don’t despair. You simply need to create a new job for yourself and make sure you get the salary and the job title that reflects the added responsibilities and achievements.

        Are you really deeply fed up with the job, or is this just a short-term reaction to not getting the pay rise or promotion you want? If the dissatisfaction goes deep, it may well be time to change. If, for example, you don’t get on with the people, or you find the organization over-political or excessively bureaucratic and inflexible, this is probably a long-term problem that won’t go away until you leave the job.

       But it may be that your frustration is relatively recent, and mostly to do with pay or promotion. In that case, it’s worth thinking about the prevailing character of the company. Are they always poor payers, or slow to promote talent, or have you just hit a temporary blip? Is this a problem that would evaporate if your boss moved on, perhaps (and if so, how likely is this to happen)? Or might things resolve if you get that job you’re after when a particular colleague leaves in another six months or so?

        Broadly speaking, if your desire to leave is the result of some relatively recent development such as being passed over for promotion, it’s a good idea to wait for a while before making a decision on whether to leave. But if you’ve been unhappy in the job for some time, leaving is more likely to be the right decision. So think about the real reasons you want to go before you rush into anything.

        Remember that no organization is perfect, and you shouldn’t balance up your knowledge of your present company with an imaginary perfect employer, because that’s not where you’ll end up. Does your employer really pay less than other companies? If so, are there other compensating factors you should take into account? For example, does your employer offer more stimulating work challenges, or longer holidays?

       Play it cool! If you do decide to leave, there’s nothing to gain by telling your present employer just what you think of them. Far better to stay on pleasant terms. Sure, you can tell them politely why you’ve decided you can do better elsewhere, but don’t get on the wrong side of them. You might need a reference from them and, even if you don’t, you don’t want people around saying things that will damage your reputation. One of your bosses may even end up working with you again one day. So once you’ve got what you want, keep the moral high ground and resist the urge to say how you really feel.

        No risk-free guarantee. Bear in mind that staying where you are isn’t necessarily the safe option. There is risk in everything, after all. If you’ve been there more than five or six years, a decision to stay could ultimately lead to you looking less employable to other organizations In the future – you’ll begin to look inexperienced in taking on new challenges. And if pay or promotion really is poor where you are now, you risk losing the opportunity to earn more and climb the ladder faster.